If Suzuki told you to jump off a cliff, would you?

You may, if you are so inclined, call me anal-retentive. You could call me picky, exacting, or any other number of different words that mean, essentially, that I’m paying some attention to the world around me. And you would totally be right. But listen, that damn Suzuki commercial for their SUV really chafes my butt.

I’m that person who notices the continuity errors in movies. The one who will scream, “He wasn’t wearing a belt in the last frame!” or “Wasn’t she just covered in blood a second ago?” when watching television. That, in itself, will annoy the piss out of people, and I understand that. Sometimes, I even try to keep it to myself. Sometimes. But this one, I just can’t. They forgot something so friggin’ basic that it’s maddening every time I see the commercial for the Suzuki Grand Vitara. And it sucks, because Suzuki seems so proud of this new ad campaign of theirs, but either somebody at Suzuki wasn’t paying attention, or somebody at their ad agency thinks we’re stupid.

The commercial goes like this: A husband is getting ready to leave for work. He stops at the door to kiss his little wifey goodbye and then walks down the sidewalk of their seemingly suburban home. Plops a helmet on his head, BASE jumps off of the cliff at the end of their walk, and lands near his SUV, into which he hops so that he can drive off to work. Exhilarating! “GO!”

Except.

He puts that helmet on his head, and if it remains that way when he jumps off the cliff, it should just go “foooop!” right off of his head. He never fastens the stupid chinstrap. You would think that they could’ve worked that in somehow, perhaps had Wifey do it after she smooched him goodbye. ANYTHING. But they follow him closely, so there’s no opportunity for him to have done it. In one shot, it’s just the helmet on his head, in the next, the strap is fastened and he’s plummeting through the air in his brisk morning drop to the driveway.

It also bothers a friend of mine that, since he clearly can’t BASE jump back up the cliff, we have no idea how he gets home at night. Maybe he leaps from a helicopter? Perhaps he’s had an elevator installed next to his driveway. Hey, it’s an SUV, maybe his rock-climbing stuff is in the back and he just scales the cliff at the end of the day. But if he BASE jumps in a suit, he’d probably climb back up in the suit, so I imagine that the man spends way more on wardrobe than he does on gas for the SUV.

Look, Suzuki, I would love to be taken in by your ad. It’s a clever construct, to be sure. But for want of a chinstrap, the customer is lost. That dude’s helmet is halfway across the ravine, and my chances of buying your SUV based on that commercial is blown away in much the same fashion. “GO!” indeed.