Taking “no” for an answer

Hope springs eternal. Sometimes, people think that maybe they can change other people’s minds, even though the negative response to whatever they’re offering is clear. But when you push the issue, not only are you asking for harsh treatment, but you venture into Creepy territory, and I’m not down with that.

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Curses! Foiled again?

Twice in the last few months, I’ve been taken to task about my word choices. Apparently, I curse a lot. The fact that it’s been other adults getting in my face about it, and there’s been nary a child in sight on both occasions, well, it pisses me off.

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BUMP WATCH!

So Beyonce’s all pregnant. Why do people give a tin damn? 

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“This is the most fun I’ve had without lubricant.”

Dear Leigh Whannell, Hi there! I’m a huge fan of the movie Saw, which you wrote and co-starred in. I love the premise, I love the twistedness of it, and while I felt that Saw II paled in comparison without your guidance, I hope that Saw III will be back on track. I also think, […]

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Oh, bite me.

Attention, makers of vampire movies: Stop this idiocy. Listen, it’s always the same with you people. Fashion mistakes and cliched “dramatic” shots. If I were a vampire, do you really think that I’d draw my head back at that alarming angle and open my mouth that wide just to show off my Lee Press-On Fangs? […]

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If Suzuki told you to jump off a cliff, would you?

You may, if you are so inclined, call me anal-retentive. You could call me picky, exacting, or any other number of different words that mean, essentially, that I’m paying some attention to the world around me. And you would totally be right. But listen, that damn Suzuki commercial for their SUV really chafes my butt.

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Keeping abreast of the issues.

What on earth is wrong with people? Heaven knows that’s a question I ask myself at least five or ten times a day. My friend Colleen thinks that with the way I get so riled up over things, I should just have a blood-pressure cuff installed so that we can monitor the fluctuations as I […]

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